This Drunk Bitch

Stay drunk, Bitches! #thisdrunkbitch

Sunday, February 7, 2016

The Official This Drunk Bitch Superbowl Drinking Game

Well, bitches, the Superbowl is finally here. If you're not a Broncos fan, Carolina Panthers fan or gambler, odds are you're not terribly interested in the game. We feel you. But here at This Drunk Bitch, we believe that even the Kardashians can become watchable after the right amount of drinks. Here is our Official Drinking Game to enhance your viewing experience.

The Official This Drunk Bitch Superbowl Drinking Game

  • Open a beer at the start of the National Anthem. Finish it by the end.
  • If Clete Blakeman successfully flips the coin, drink.
  • When Cam dabs, finish your beer.
  • Every time the Golden Gate Bridge is shown, drink.
  • Drink every time the announcers speculate on Peyton Manning's retirement.
  • If Peyton Manning scores a touchdown, shout "Omaha!" and take a shot.
  • Drink every time Tom Brady is mentioned.
  • Every time you hear "Riverboat Ron," drink.
  • Drink every time you see Peyton Manning in a Papa John's or Nationwide commercial.
  • Take a shot if Beyonce knocks the power out again.
  • When John Elway is shown, drink.
  • Drink when you see the Budweiser Clydesdales.
  • If a commercial for a macrobrewery is shown trying to make a case for their rotten piss being better than craft beer, finish your delicious 6.8% ABV craft beer.
  • When Cam Newton gives a ball away to a kid, take a shot.

There you have it! Enjoy the Superbowl! Just make sure you eat a lot of snacks because this game might kill you otherwise.

Stay drunk, bitches!

Friday, February 5, 2016

In defense of the Piña Colada

The Piña Colada is one of the most polarizing cocktails on the planet. Some people don't even like to call it a cocktail because of its widely assumed inferiority. Sure, the Piña Colada is sweet, and yes, it's frozen, and goddamn it, it's pretty.

But you know what? You all know that you secretly love them.

This is a beautiful stock photo that I absolutely did not take.
A couple of weeks ago, I was at the liquor store right before the impending Blizzard of 2016 (are we calling it that yet?). I was feeling indecisive and just wasn't feeling my usual scotch or whiskey. Then, I saw the rum. Maybe it was the uncertainty of the storm of the century upon us, maybe it was exhaustion from a long work week, or maybe I just wanted something classic...something familiar. I instantly thought about the summer and how refreshing it is to have a frozen drink on a hot ass day, those wonderful Piña Coladas they sell at the Italian Market Festival every year in the hollowed out pineapple, and how there's no better way to instantly feel like you're on vacation than sipping a really well made Piña Colada. I wanted to feel all of those feelings again at that exact moment. So, I purchased myself a bottle of Kracken Black Spiced Rum (because it's 94 fucking proof) and quickly headed to the grocery store.

So, I think a big problem with the Piña Colada is the utterly disgusting pre-made garbage so many of you people have been buying. I know, I know, it's soooo easy to just pour from one bottle into the blender and add ice. I really do understand. But PLEASE FUCKING STOP DOING THIS. With only a couple of extra steps you can make something that actually tastes quite delicious.

This is my not so great photo taken of
my 4th Piña Colada of the night.
Now, I'm not asking for anything crazy here. I'm not asking you to start juicing pineapples and pressing your own coconut milk (but please do that if you have the time!). You can buy the ingredients needed in your grocery store, probably even in the same aisle you would buy the aforementioned pre-made shit. All you need is pineapple juice (I prefer Dole 100% juice) and some cream of coconut (I use Goya). Shake the creme of coconut very well before opening. Pour it into a pitcher, then fill the empty can with pineapple and pour that in. Mix well with a spoon, and you have your Piña Colada mix! This will yield around 4-6 drinks, depending on size. When you're ready to blend, pour in some of your favorite rum, your mix, and ice, and you're ready to go.

Now, you've probably seen that recipe before, but here's my trick. I know it's not really conventional, but I like to throw a banana in the blender too. I find it adds an additional tropical, sweet element, and it also makes everything really smooth and creamy. Try it! I think you'll love it.

So now that I've come out as a Piña Colada lover, I hope you'll do the same. I'm not saying it has to replace your Old Fashioneds or Negronis, but it's nice to throw it into the rotation every once in a while.

Stay drunk, bitches!

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Bluecoat Barrel Finished is BACK!

GREAT NEWS BITCHES! We've made HISTORY, we have been Revolutionary! The one time buy of Philadelphia Distilling's Bluecoat Barrel Finished Gin was a sell out and because of your support the product has earned it's place on the shelves of over 100 PLCB locations throughout the state. What does this mean? That you can have the best goddamned negroni all of the time (I paused here to make a Barrel aged Negroni, can't help myself). No more rationing your last bottle of this beautiful spirit, because come mid-month you can just buy more, assuming I've left any on the shelves.

I figured it wouldn't be long before Barrel finished made it's return, because as soon as I fell in love with it, it was sold out at all of the stores I could get to. Which was why our visit to their location filled me with so much glee, I stocked up...then sold Tara a bottle, but whatever, Bitches have to help each other out. It was difficult to let that bottle go.

Philadelphia Distilling really knows how to whet a Bitch's whistle and I'm so excited for them to move into their new location on the waterfront. We're going to be neighbors, and best friends.

I really can't say enough great things about this gin, it's so complex and beautiful. Aged in new American oak barrels for at least 3 months, it has an amber color and a well rounded flavor with hints of caramel and whiskey. For you small batch snobs - it's made six barrels at a time, so no fucking excuses.

 Not a gin lover, you say? Well, you're wrong. Go fuck yourself.**

**Gina (@thisdrunkphoto) - 'Even I liked it, and I'm not a gin lover. It's a gin for whiskey lovers, is what it is."

Monday, August 3, 2015

Atlantic City's Inaugural Cider Social event!

If you need another excuse to get your ass down the shore this weekend, I have one - Cider Social. Mmmm fermented apple juice...I fucking love cider.

Though this event is in it's first year I expect some great things because the line up is pretty great. Some old loves, Woodchuck cider, Commonwealth, Strongbow (though I hate the new recipe), Original Sin, Magners and so many more!

Cider events are great for those of us who don't love beer, but want to drink our faces off at hours long events. What do they call it when it's beer? Sessions. Ah yes, Ciders are session drinks.

There will also be some food, entertainment and other fun. Tickets are on sale for just $45 or if you're the sober bitch you can get your ticket for just $15. They are holding two session times one from 12pm-4pm and another from 7pm-11pm.

Start or end your beach day at the Cider Social in Atlantic City.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

At the Dog Wash - an event to benefit PAWS!

You're probably familiar with This Drunk Bitch's love of cats, but what you may not know is that This Drunk Photographer is a dog lover. Yes, that's right folks - I'm a dog person surrounded by cat people, and I'm holding my silence no longer. I'm doing a post for pooches!

This Saturday, August 1st, bring your dog down to The Trestle Inn at the corner of 11th and Callowhill for a bath! The Trestle Inn is teaming up with Philly Pet Hotel and holding a dog wash to benefit Philly PAWS. From noon to 5pm, enjoy 70s tunes, Croydon Cream Ale, The Grill Cheese & Phoebe's BBQ Veggie food trucks, and quality time with the four-legged Fido you love. If you don't have a dog, don't panic - there's plenty of puppy love for you too! Eat, drink, and be merry with friends on two and four legs. Tickets are $35 with a dog, $20 without - buy those here

I know what you're thinking - you live in the city, in an apartment, so your dog is sparkling clean. You know what else your dog is? Hot. Boiling, in fact. This week has been sweltering, and dogs don't sweat. As someone who just enjoyed a refreshing romp through a neighborhood sprinkler, I can attest to the magnificence of a cold spray on a hot day. Your dog will thank you!

Just so you don't forget to come to The Trestle Inn this Saturday between noon and 5pm, I give you the gift of this ear worm, to be sung to the tune of "Car Wash":

Your dog's been rollin' in a ditch?
Let me tell you we'll clean 'em up in a stitch.
There ain't no tellin' who you might meet.
A Pit Bull. A Poodle. Or even a Pekinese.

At the Dog Wash.
Working at the Dog Wash, yeah!
Come on y'all and bring your puppies.
Dog Wash, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dog Wash, yeah!

Sunday, July 26, 2015

National Scotch Day is upon us!!

Nowadays, I feel like there's a "National _____ Day" for basically everything in existence. We've got National Doughnut Day, National Left Hander's Day, and even a National Rubber Eraser Day (it's a real thing, look it up).

But tomorrow, July 27th, is quite possibly the best made up holiday of the year: National Scotch Day!

Most of you should know by now that I love scotch. Like, a lot. On a scale of 1 to Ron Burgundy, well...let's just say that scotch definitely takes me to Pleasure Town.

Scotch is really wonderful because it's like whiskey's older, more refined cousin. It also varies widely in flavor, so there's really a scotch for everyone. It can range from the light and floral young 12 year olds, to the fruity and spicy adolescent 15 year olds, and all the way to deep, smoky, voting, lottery-playing 18 year old full grown adult scotches.

Personally, I like them all, and I think my scotch preference depends on the occasion. My go-to every day scotch is the old reliable 12 year by The Macallan, but I've been known to get fancy with some Johnny Walker Blue, and I've even slummed it with his often rejected little brother, Johnny Walker Red. Finding what you like is a very personal journey, so get to tasting!

Where can you sample some lovely scotches in honor of this glorious holiday? Here are some suggestions:

Village Whiskey - With a sprawling whiskey selection, you will find pretty much any scotch you've ever heard of (and plenty you've never heard of) here. Also, obviously delicious burgers.

1 Tippling Place - The singular scotch cocktail on the menu, Penicillin, consists of scotch, lemon, and honey ginger. This delicious cocktail alone is worth the trip, but you can also pick the brains of the incredibly knowledgeable staff, or sit at the bar and have their talented mixologists craft you a scotch cocktail all your own.

Ashton Cigar Bar - Because obviously, the best pairing for scotch is a damn good cigar. Go there and class it the fuck up. For my Macallan 12, my favorite cigar pairing is the Liga Privada #9, thanks to the on-point recommendation of Sip Smoke Savor.

Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steakhouse - This is the big one. If you really want to go hard, Del Frisco's has the only bottle in Pennsylvania of the coveted Macallan M.

This is the holy fucking grail of scotch. It's crafted from some of Macallan's rarest, highest quality whiskies, and, at $4,500 a bottle, it is the most expensive scotch ever sold. And this is no smoke and mirrors folks, some of the whiskies blended into this bad boy are as old as 73 years! You can order two ounces for $600 or one ounce for $400, but think of it as a once in a lifetime opportunity to try one of the best damn scotches on the planet. Or, if you're ballin' like that, just go and order it and impress the hell out of your poor ass friends.

So, whether you're out on the town or sipping at home, make sure you have a dram for this, the holiest of holidays.

Go fuck yourself, San Diego...I mean, Stay drunk bitches!

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Screw CCD Sips - It's not even worth it.

A long time ago, in the city of Philadelphia some restaurant owners were brainstorming on how they could get people from the suburbs to come into the city and spend their money. They got together with CCD and planned a week long event that became known as Restaurant week. For awhile this program was wonderful, mostly because the food scene in the city of Philadelphia hadn't quite hit it's stride and the event allowed these establishments to highlight the best they had to offer to a new audience. Then the food scene took off and world wide magazines caught on and EVERYONE from far and wide started coming into the city to eat, and the event turned into a way for cheap bastards to visit restaurants they won't pay the same prices to eat at on normal days. As the industry boomed they just kept adding weeks to this event, until eventually it ran for two weeks and several times a year and became the biggest joke in the industry as servers are pushed to their limits and work for nearly no tips while the kitchen pumps out dishes from a prix fixe menu that are about speed and not quality. Of course, this isn't a food blog and I'm not going to tell you how fucking stupid Restaurant week is because if you're reading this, you already fucking know.

Born of the same sort of idea we now have RW's best friend, CCD SIPS! A bar program to keep those suburbanites who work in the city downtown for at least a drink or so, so every Wednesday through the summer months a bunch of asshats run to bars and order $5 cocktails, $4 wine, $3 beer and bar snacks at no specific price. The thing is, these specials are bullshit. Most of the time if you hit up a bar for happy hour you're going to get similar pricing, more selection and a better quality drink! It won't even have to be