Wednesday, October 8, 2014

When Bacon Breaks Your Heart -or- The Pennsylvania Bacon Festival review.

The Pennsylvania Bacon Festival wasn't just a flop, it wasn't going through first year hiccups, it was a poorly planned disaster! Then when ticket holders began complaining on the facebook page, things got really bad as the event hosts then deleted customer complaints. We all know that hiding negative opinions on the internet isn't going to work, what works is addressing your customers' concerns and making changes to be sure you're pleasing the majority of your guests. I can tell you that the majority was bored and dissatisfied. You shouldn't be deleting the comments! You can read more feedback from attendees on the Xfinity Live! facebook post.

We didn't have high expectations going in because This Drunk Bitch has been to enough first time events to know that these events are typically going to run into some issues and they will be a learning experience, but we weren't prepared to be this disappointed. The press release boasted of 40,000 bacon samples, cocktail demonstrations and a special appearance by some bar rescue fella, it sounded like a great time. We made a teaser post encouraging you, our readers to attend and for that I am very embarrassed and very sorry. If we had known that
this festival was only going to be 10 lines that would take 2.5 hours to collect tiny nondescript samples we wouldn't have wasted our day at it either. This wasn't a festival, it was a collection of people who paid to wait for hours in queues. The mumbles from the crowd were unhappy ones, some saying that the festival opened up nearly 45 minutes late, others unhappy because the only thing VIP got you was access to the PBR bar which really wasn't sectioned off or difficult to get into, more grunts and grumbles because the beer prices were too expensive. We're talking $10 for a 32 oz can of Miller High life expensive. Each regular ticket came with 4 sample tickets, and you'll be excited to hear that after waiting for an hour or so in line your ticket might get you 2 ritz crackers with a smear of bacon jam, two small slim jim sized 'bacon slim jims' from a vendor that had no name, maybe you waited for 2.5 hours in the line to get a bacon slider and spent up your tickets there because fuck it, why not?

I decided that based on how miserable we were with this event, that I would get my hands dirty and find out who exactly is to blame for this mess. Well it looks as if two companies came together for it. Charm City Hospitality which is a MD based catering business and Steez Promo, clearly a promotional company whose contact information matches that of the fella we originally pitched when this event was going to be at the Piazza. It's clear to me that these two companies came together and created this event as a total cash grab. The prices were astronomical, the fact that there seemed to be more things for sale then there were samples and the lack of vendors SCREAMS cash grab. I'm still not sure what was supposed to be in the voodoo tent, but they obviously had enough at the previous event and didn't even bother showing here in Philadelphia. Oh if you were wondering, this event has now taken place in several cities, so while yes, it is the first year, they should have learned something from the previous events that may have saved them here. They clearly learned nothing.

We were miserable, trying to find a way to enjoy the event, but in all honesty it felt like a wasted day. Even good company didn't improve the downtrodden mood we ended up in as soon as we entered the Pennsylvania Bacon Festival. Charm City Hospitality and Steez Promo should be ashamed of themselves. We got comp tickets and I still feel like I spent too much money, I can't imagine how upset I would be if I had spent the money to attend this event. Fuming, I'd be fuming.

Didn't use these Bacon Festival Tickets.
To anyone who spent $30 to purchase your GA ticket, or $75 to purchase your VIP, we wouldn't blame you for asking them for a refund. They oversold the event and it was not at all what the press release described. We're pretty sorry about that. We didn't even stay long enough to turn in our tickets.

Your this drunk bitch team gave up with many tickets in hand, and slid inside to pay exorbitant prices for dirty martinis just to rid ourselves of the filth from waiting in lines. ABSURD! I'm glad we didn't have to purchase our tickets, if we had, we'd be demanding a fucking refund. In fact I'd like the Pennsylvania Bacon Festival to pay me for the time I fucking wasted in line at this event. I could have done so much more with my day. You broke my heart bro, broke it in twain.

Mmm Cider and Pumpkin beer.

The only bright spot of this whole day was visiting Broad Street Bullies Pub after we'd given up on the event. Tara is a huge Philadelphia Flyers fan and season ticket holder, so it seemed like the right place to go. Bullies has a great selection of craft beers to suit most price ranges, and they also made a mostly acceptable dirty martini for us. This is where we will go if we ever find ourselves at Xfinity Live and are in need of a good, albeit slightly pricey drink. We'd like to thank the staff at Bullies for lessening the sour taste left in our mouths (quite literally) after this "festival".

An additional note:  It didn't seem like anyone was having a good time, except for the handful of toddlers in strollers. I'd have had a great fucking time, had I known to bring an adult-sized stroller in which to sit while waiting in the 2 hour queues. Can we talk about that for a second? I saw about ten children total, even though this was marketed as a "family friendly" event. I don't understand the motivation behind alienating the majority of your attendees to appease a small few who don't even have jobs. - T

It was a sad and wasted Saturday. Hopefully, next year is better. We apologize to all of our readers for following our lead and purchasing tickets to this massively underwhelming event.

We gave up and moved on to Beefeater Dirty Martinis,

Stay drunk, bitches!

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