Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Why you should get drunk at holiday parties

We've all seen them- those condescending holiday party etiquette rules laid out by the Matha Stewarts and Clinton Kellys of the world. They usually contain some standards like, don't eat all the hors d'oeuvres, don't fuck your date in your aunts powder room, and the one rule that is ever present on every list- DON'T GET DRUNK.

We'll that, my friends, is fucking bullshit.

How awkward are family parties? For most of us, we all only get together a few times a year, and the older we get, the more distance we all have between us. Know what makes all of that go away? Booze! That's right. There's nothing like sitting around a table catching up with cousins you haven't seen since last Thanksgiving over a lovely bottle of whiskey or a few bottles of wine. Personally, I'm partial to the craft beers of the season, especially since winter beers are strong as hell, but you can get as creative as you want.

And let's not forget that there's always a ton of food at these get togethers. Remember when you were home from college on Thanksgiving break, hungover as hell from your night-before-Thanksgiving shenanigans?  Remember how fucking good that turkey tasted after all that drinking? Most of us don't go out for "high school reunion night" (as I affectionately call it) anymore,  but you can still get that same overwhelmingly satisfying feeling of drunk eating by actually, well, drunk eating!

The important thing to remember is that all parties are more fun when you're all drinking and enjoying yourselves. Why people try to shame us into making exceptions for the most wonderful time of the year, I'll never understand. And don't be embarrassed if you get a little sloshed. If you're reading this blog, chances are your family already expects you to be the drunk one. Just don't be the dickhead who shows up empty handed and drink everyone else's booze.

So go forth and drink, and have a wonderfully inebriated holiday season!

Stay drunk, bitches!

No comments:

Post a Comment